please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize