another moral hangover. fuck.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
