guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
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It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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