I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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