she looked like the bat from fern gully.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
