I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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