if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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