At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
