I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
