i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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