Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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