I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He passed out mid-signature
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
