Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He has the fingertips of a God
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