two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
