Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
