I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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