it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
