Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
