To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Randomize
