His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
