Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
