can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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