I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
