so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
