Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
