Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
