She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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