My liver just broke up with me...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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