I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
