quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
