I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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