I need help removing her.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
