The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
