just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
