I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
