And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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