His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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