he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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