Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
