he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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