you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
