If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
