oh god the rape fog is back!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
