she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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