if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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