Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
