Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
