so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
