I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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