the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask