I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis