Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?