If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can I color on your dick again?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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