Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
