There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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