I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize