just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
