People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
