I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
