For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
