she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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